OK this is the deal. I have issues with my pituitary. I don’t know why that is so difficult for me to admit. Embarrassment is a funny emotion. 10 years ago I was diagnosed with a little problem with my pituitary. I will need to take medicine for the rest of my life. In the grand scheme of life this is no big deal. I’m lucky there is a drug to treat my problem and thankfully I don’t have cancer.
Losing weight is difficult for me. Last year I worked really hard and lost 25lbs with the help of a doctor. All seemed great but I was still seeking relief from chronic dizziness. The medicine that I take to help my pituitary may cause dizziness. Feeling really good about my self and my general health, last fall I took a break from my meds. I was trying to fix the dizziness. It was a risk. It didn’t work. The dizziness remained and my hormones crashed in April. I felt like I had lost control of my body. While my hormones are slowly regaining balance the dizziness remains and it is depressing. All of this has effected my confidence and other activities (climbing).
I miss mountain biking! I miss my biking friends. They will always be my friends but I miss the lifestyle of racing and being with like minded people. Biking was my happy place, my escape, and it made me feel strong. I used to feel tough and powerful. I was really good at it too. The dizziness has hidden this refuge from me and I don’t know how to find it. As a positive I did realize that I’m more than my bike. I’m creative. I like to draw and take photos and I like school and learning.
Once again I’m going to try to climb the mountain of dizziness and fix this problem. I just want to be free. In October I’m going to see a neurologist. This means more tests and feeling like a loser. I feel so stupid at the doctor’s office but something is wrong and I’m not giving up this time. I’m lucky to have the time and support to tackle this problem. Now I just have to do it!
