You just don’t know where someone has been or what their life is like. This is just one example.

How did you get your first bike? Did you get an allowance as a child? I didn’t get an allowance. My parents told us that we were a family and we needed to work together to make ends meet. Our allowance was food on the table and a place to sleep. I got my first bike by saving money from birthdays, working as a paper route sub, and baby-sitting.

How did you get your first car? I was lucky enough to have my parents sign a bank note for $800, I had my first car loan. I worked a lot of hours while in high school to pay off that loan and to save for college.

I paid for college. No my parents were not able to help me with books or tuition. I was lucky to live with them while studying and working. It took me a few years to get my associate degree but I got it free and clear. Going away to college was a dream that I couldn’t afford. Cutting loose and partying is something I kind of regret not doing but it was a good choice to stay at home and work.

Working is something I have done since I can remember. I learned the valuable lesson of buying what you can afford. Sometimes it takes a long time to save.

How old is your car? Mine is over 9 years and has over 136,000 miles on it. I take good care of it and it is running like a champ.

Someday I’m going to be driving a BMW or something else that is nice. I’ve been saving a long time. Think what you want but not all people with nice things are jerks. Not all people are just given things...some work really hard and can afford them and appreciate them.

It is time to make a deal

The deal is the facts. Yes, the honest truth is the deal. I have a difficult time losing weight. My resolve is strong, I like to exercise, and my diet is healthy. Now is the time to write it down and figure it out. I have a polar heart rate monitor that tracks my exercise and a new app for my phone to track calories eaten.

The plan is to workout at the gym 2-3 times a week and burn 1,000 calories each visit. In edition to the gym I want to add 1-2 workouts at home or on the weekend. My goal for total calories eaten is 1,200-1,500 daily. I would like to follow this plan for a month and see what happens. If I lose weight no further action is required. This will mean that I’m back on track. If not, back to the doctor. The last time I lost weight I had to follow a special very low cal diet that I got from a naturopath. I don’t want to do that again unless it is necessary. I’m so afraid of becoming anorexic. I get very frustrated with my situation and feel so out of control. The only way I feel in control is to eat very little. I know that is not healthy.

Check this out

Check this blog out

www.fatcyclist.com

I was listening to my favorite radio program today (the story) and heard about this blog. The Fat cyclist is a blog about bikes, life, and raising money to fight cancer. You should check it out if any of this is interesting to you.

The story is a radio program on NPR. It is about people from all walks of life. The interviewer is Dick Gordon is great! He asks the question you want to ask. If you don't have a public radio station to listen to I think the program can be downloaded as a podcast. The Story is one of my favorite things and I'm sure the fatcyclist.com will soon be a favorite as well.

www.thestory.org

This is the good life and I'm sticking to it!

OK this is the deal. I have issues with my pituitary. I don’t know why that is so difficult for me to admit. Embarrassment is a funny emotion. 10 years ago I was diagnosed with a little problem with my pituitary. I will need to take medicine for the rest of my life. In the grand scheme of life this is no big deal. I’m lucky there is a drug to treat my problem and thankfully I don’t have cancer.

Losing weight is difficult for me. Last year I worked really hard and lost 25lbs with the help of a doctor. All seemed great but I was still seeking relief from chronic dizziness. The medicine that I take to help my pituitary may cause dizziness. Feeling really good about my self and my general health, last fall I took a break from my meds. I was trying to fix the dizziness. It was a risk. It didn’t work. The dizziness remained and my hormones crashed in April. I felt like I had lost control of my body. While my hormones are slowly regaining balance the dizziness remains and it is depressing. All of this has effected my confidence and other activities (climbing).

I miss mountain biking! I miss my biking friends. They will always be my friends but I miss the lifestyle of racing and being with like minded people. Biking was my happy place, my escape, and it made me feel strong. I used to feel tough and powerful. I was really good at it too. The dizziness has hidden this refuge from me and I don’t know how to find it. As a positive I did realize that I’m more than my bike. I’m creative. I like to draw and take photos and I like school and learning.

Once again I’m going to try to climb the mountain of dizziness and fix this problem. I just want to be free. In October I’m going to see a neurologist. This means more tests and feeling like a loser. I feel so stupid at the doctor’s office but something is wrong and I’m not giving up this time. I’m lucky to have the time and support to tackle this problem. Now I just have to do it!

I should get back to writing

I'm going to try and post at least once a month. At times I think it helps me work out ideas if I write them down. Taking better care of myself is on the agenda and in some way this counts. Staying positive is one of my goals. I will try...
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Good luck Mr. Baseball

Good luck Uecker! Wow, heart surgery...here is to a speedy recovery.

Olympic fever

I have watched a lot of the Olympic coverage, skiing, ice skating, snowboarding, and speed skating. Surely someone else has watched more but I can’t stop watching. The personal stories are fascinating. I love to hear about their lives and what kind of challenges they have faced. A pairs ice skating couple that is husband and wife have lived in a dorm for years. They have given up so much of life to skate in the olympics. One skier representing Canada is a recovering alcholic. So many people, so many stories, not just competition or maybe just another reflection of life? It seems to be a fine line between success and total destruction. So many athletes past and present have struggled with obsessive behaviors. It is a fine line between prominence and loser.